The Gift of Connecting

Connecting really is a gift.

Being close to someone, relating, understanding, knowing, and building relationship in an effort to connect is a huge gift.

Connecting is a big subject because it incorporates connecting with coworkers, staying connected with family, starting new connections with people, and continuing connection with old friends.

It means learning to connect yourself to different people in different seasons and often, for different reasons.

For many of us, connecting is learning to connect with ourselves and learn what we want, like, need, and hope. It means learning how to express that in a way that honors you while staying connected with others.

In the process, we can also be learning that disconnecting with someone or something is a huge part of building connection in your life.

Letting go, moving past, and starting over in newer, healthier ways, regardless of what is being said or thought around you.

Connecting also means remaining in constant connection with Jesus and intentionally taking steps to keep your personal relationship with him as a growing part of your life. It’s allowing him to lead every connection, every day.

Whether in real life at a coffee shop or online, using technology like zoom or messenger, or having a face-to-face sit down at your kitchen table, connecting takes a bit of creativity, purpose and planning.

It also takes a bit of courage to step outside your circumstances or struggles and put yourself out there again and again.

Sometimes, in connecting, there are baby friendships. New relationships with connections that are fresh. Each new friendship starts at the basics of our lives and it takes a bit of work and valuable time to grow a friendship past that point.

Staying connected to older friends also takes a bit of work. You have to follow up, find time, and purpose to stay in touch. As everyone moves through different seasons of life, this can be incredibly challenging but a worthy effort.

Staying connected with family carries its own realities, joys and tears that are precious reminders of deep connections, history and family ties. These connections and relationships can be beautiful, joyous gifts.

For some, family connections can be painful reminders of trauma, neglect, and hurt. It can be especially painful and confusing around the holidays.

For most of us, learning to stay connected with others and Jesus and ourselves during our crazy, tumultuous adult life is challenging to say the least.

Ways of Connecting

1) Stay connected to Jesus. Every day. Even if it’s messy and disorganized. He is a friend who sticks close to you through it all. Reach out and touch him. Stay connected to the peace, presence and power of Jesus. A simple journal, a short prayer, a daily devotional, the Proverb of the day… something to bring your focus back to your connection with Jesus.

2) Be courageous. Most connecting takes courage. It means extending friendship, being real and letting people into your life. Connecting beyond the basics takes talking, sharing and opening your heart. All of that means being brave, jumping in and walking through the door of friendship with others.

Being courageous also means knowing when a connection is not for you, letting go in love, and moving forward in faith.

3) Learn how your friends like to communicate. Not everyone is social media savvy. Not everyone checks email. Not everyone likes to talk on the phone or video chat. Do they text? Voxer? Snapchat? You might have to learn something new, or you might need to go back to something old to see a connection really happen in a friendship.

4) Use small connecting moments. There are so many avenues of connecting today! What are your favorites? How do you like to communicate? Share that and utilize your gifts. Send a card, record a video, tag someone in a post or share a meme. These can be small touch points of communication that help build connections.

5) Don’t hide the real you. You might have been brave, gone out there and made a friend. But you might still be tempted to hide behind your position, your pretty outfit or your put-together home. You might be hiding behind a well-prepared, practiced version of what you are willing to share. But for real connection to happen, you need to step outside the filter and let others see you, know you and connect with you.

6) Take time to be healthy and whole. If you are going to allow others in and be courageous enough to make real connections, you will want to be healthy and ready for what those friendships, those connections can bring. Friendship can feel like middle school even though you are in your 30s or 40s. Friendships can be hard or hurtful because two imperfect people are trying to build a connection with each other, which means taking the time to be your best self can be a very beneficial part of connecting with others. Being rested, prayed up, and ready with words of life can be the difference between good connections and frustratingly hurtful ones. Get to know how you handle connections best. Learn what you can do to make sure you are building healthy friendships from healthy places in healthy ways.

7) Seek out mentoring connections. Connecting with others doesn’t always mean you need to be the one reaching out or that you need to be in a “perfect” place before you can connect. In fact, MOST of us will never be in a perfect place for connecting! If you are in a place of not feeling ready to stop hiding, or not sure how to connect in real ways, or friendship is difficult for you, find someone who is rocking those things! Find a mentor or a life coach, someone to walk through the process of connecting with others with you. Read a book, join a class, and ask Jesus to help you find the right person to navigate this with you.

8) Invest the time. Real connections take time. It takes time spent with Jesus. Time evaluating where you are. Time to stop hiding. Time to move past baby friendships to deep relationships. Time to let go of hurtful and painful connections. Time to heal. Time. Time. Time. There is no fast track or quick fix. Invest the time for connecting. Find quality time. Make space in your calendar or busy schedule for people, for Jesus, for yourself. It all takes time.

Be encouraged. Connecting is a gift, even it if takes work, time, and effort.

Each moment spent investing in real connections is worth it. The investment will pay off in amazing ways as you live out these real connections with the people God has placed in your life.

What are some ways that you connect with Jesus, with others or with yourself?

What are some things you can do to foster real connections in your season of life or area of work?

Do you need a boost of courage to step out and stop hiding from real connections?