6 Helpful Tips for Finding a Coach

Finding a coach can be a difficult thing. When you’re in a season of needing someone to talk to, wishing for real accountability and a healthy, safe place to sort through all the challenges, it can be a hard time to also sort through coaches.

Coaching, mentoring, discipleship… these are incredibly important throughout life. Yet, finding the right person can be quite a task.

For me, coaching has meant different things at different times in my life. I’ve learned that coaching can take unique forms depending on where I am or what’s happening in my life.

In some seasons, I have memories of sweet coffee shop conversations with a friend. Mentorship happening over a table without any planning or purpose, just living life together. Two friends who are learning, growing and developing in similar ways.

Other times, coaching has been more purposeful. It’s planned and detailed. It’s formal with goals and timelines. A planned meeting with someone farther along the journey.

There are seasons when coaching or mentoring relationships need to be structured and well-planned with set goals in mind. Whether for leadership, teaching, growing in a specific task or desiring guidance in a certain area like health, exercise, writing or discipleship, these times of directed coaching with a specific coach can be of great value.

Yet, often, the most powerful learning, growing moments can come in a casual conversation with a random person, an online class, a new friendship, a young teacher or even, a coach sharing uplifting instastories.

It might be an author in a book who will never know your name or the lady who rings up your groceries with a story of how Jesus helped her overcome a struggle which spurs you forward in your faith, challenges you to grow and encourages you to step out in bigger ways. Iron sharpening iron.

Coaching is a needed tool in your toolbox. Having a coach is important and valuable in ways, ways that we sometimes can’t describe until we’re through the process. We’re meant to have these close relationships with others, to glean wisdom and gather tips to help us along the way.

“Life is not meant to be lived in isolation. We are better together. Stronger. Braver. Our willingness to be vulnerable will suffocate shame.” – Cristi Dozier

In this time of post-quarantine and social distancing, we’re in a unique time for coaching, mentoring and relationships. This is the day of telehealth, online church services, zoom office meetings and online schooling. Face-to-face isn’t always possible so we’re creatively connecting in ways we haven’t tried to do before, to an extent that no one imagined before.

Whether you want formal coaching and are looking for solid, structured growth steps or you love the informal coffee discussion with a friend… both are valid, beautiful, amazing steps to move forward in healthier ways.

Finding a coach, having a coach is something that could be a part of your life, relationships and growth.

You might be reading along and thinking about how mentorship has looked for you over the years. You might also be wondering how to get things going, where to start, how to find a mentor or coach.

Here are 6 helpful tips for finding a coach:

These tips can apply regardless of what kind of season you find yourself in right now. They can  be helpful to follow whether you are the coach or the coachee.

1} Search and pray. From the very first step, ask God to be a part of this decision of finding a coach. Ask him to guide your heart and lead your steps to the right person, the right book, the right class or the right community for whatever kind of growth you are looking for. Pray for discernment and clarity as you search for a good coaching style, program or format. Ask God for direction in what you should learn, how he’s leading you to grow or how he wants to use a coach in your life. Pray for a foundation of trust to be seen and known in the relationship from the beginning.

2} Be specific. Once you’ve found a direction that God is leading you for coaching or mentorship, make a plan. It can be flexible and open-ended or it can be specific and detailed with a start date, timeline, goal plan and end date. The coach and coachee should be on the same page with these details from the beginning. Be honest about your expectations for the mentorship and don’t make assumptions about the process. Then, plan your first meeting, either in person or online. Be specific about the practical things. Choose a topic to cover, a challenge for growth, a goal for change, a need for accountability. These details should be talked about, prayed over and planned out from the start of a mentorship.

3} Be ready to be real and accountable. A coaching season will only work as well as you are willing to be real and it will only succeed by being accountable to the process. Be ready to take an honest look at where you are, where you want to go and how you’re going to get there. Vulnerability, openness, honesty, and grace must be present on day one for both the coach and coachee.

4} Share, share, share. What are you reading? What is God saying? What are you learning? How are you growing? How did you fail? Where do you need grace? Where do you need more support or guidance? What is causing problems in a certain area? Share the stories. Ask the questions. Dig deep into good, strong, helpful discussions. Let God use real life lessons and moments to broaden the coaching journey.

Curious about a specific personal growth process?

5} Listen and learn. While all that sharing is happening, listen and learn. Practice active listening. Let go of your own thoughts for a few minutes and really, really listen. Engage in the conversation by listening to the words, thoughts, hopes, dreams, lessons and experiences of the other person. Then, let yourself learn. Learn from what you hear, apply it to your life, let God speak through their sharing, write down phrases that stand out to you or make you stop and think.

6} Duplicate and multiply. You’ve found a coach or a mentor, you’ve been through the process, you’ve grown in specific ways, you’ve learned and listened and shared. Now, what is God wanting to do with what you’ve experienced through coaching? How can you start using what you are learning, what God is saying and how you’ve been growing to impact those around you?

Coaching can become a part of life, a regular rhythm of your seasons. Mentorship can happen in many different ways. There is no cookie cutter design to fit all people. We all have different needs, challenges, paths and goals.

Wherever you are in life, finding a coach is an incredibly valuable tool that can open doors for your next steps forward.

How has coaching or mentorship looked for you over the years?

Do you have a specific story about coaching or mentoring to share?

Are you currently looking for coaching or mentorship?

**this post was originally written for Velvet Ashes