Tips for Feeling Emotional
Feeling emotional can truly take you by surprise.
The moment you are sitting there and find yourself saying, “I don’t even know why I’m angry.”
Why is this upsetting me so much? Why does this hurt so bad?
Sweet clients who look at me and say, “I didn’t think I’d cry in this session,” while wiping tears from their faces.
Or, for me just yesterday, thinking, “I didn’t mean to cry about this.”
Feeling emotional
It’s just part of life, a very human part of life.
Emotions are part of relationships, especially difficult or destructive ones.
Parenting, family, and everyday life brings new emotions, sometimes moment-by-moment.
Emotions are a part of mental and physical health challenges.
Emotions are part of transition. Throw in multiple transitions in a few short years and you have feelings and emotions galore.
Work can get complicated with how many feelings and emotions that are experienced in a short amount of time.
Full-time ministry, stateside and overseas, can be overwhelmingly lonely, hard, and rewarding… all at the same time.
With all of these situations and emotions and feelings, there is a mental game that happens when emotions feel out of control or extra complicated or deeply heavy.
It’s a mental game so full of feeling emotional that there are times you don’t know how to even put into words the emotions building inside you.
The Feelings and Emotions
Fear – This one can be at the top. It’s not always a “shaking in your boots” fear. It’s more a low, deep understanding that in life you have no control over what is coming. Fear of the unknown, fear of what you can’t see, fear of what you’re facing. Fears that come with unexpected circumstances, whiplash comments, hard decisions, and new seasons.
Worry – This emotion is different than fear because where fear is deep inside, worry sits in plain view. It gets expressed in hurried days, a scramble for organization, an insistence that this or that happen in this or that way. Worry effects the day-to-day. It makes you try to control, ruminate, live anxious, and lose focus.
Insecurity – With the very ground shifting beneath your feet during unknowns, decisions, and hardships, it’s hard to keep tabs on safety and security. This is everything from finances to physical safety to mental health to the unstable world we find yourself in. This covers relationships in family and marriage, relationships at home, and relationship with God. Insecurity is multifaceted and truly wraps itself around you in complicated ways.
Wonder – In the midst of the hard, there can be so much good. Kids thriving, beautiful fall leaves changing color, warm soup, hot coffee, gorgeous landscapes.
Strength – There is an intense amount of strength that builds inside your heart during difficult times and emotional days. With each new transition or challenge, that strength grows. New skills, greater ability. Climbing mountains of survival each day forces a kind of inner strength that you might not know you’re capable of holding.
*I wrote more about this strength on Grit&Virtue. You can read that here.
Excitement – In this life, there is ALWAYS something to look forward to. Always. A trip to see family, a morning to sleep in, a new show on TV, a funny meme to share with a friend. Find those moments in the midst of the emotions and let yourself be excited.
Sadness – Honestly, sometimes it’s a sadness so strong, so compelling, so overwhelming. A roller-coaster, up and down of emotions, deep and gripping. There are days where happiness and sadness can flow evenly together. There are also days where one of the other seems to win.
Disappointment – This often carries a lot of weight in our emotions. Expectations go unmet. Dreams go unfulfilled. Change that is out of your control. People do hurtful, spiteful, crazy things.
Joy – Because of Jesus, we have this regardless of any other emotion. Joy that flows from pure thankfulness to be alive, to be a child of God, to know His love.
Blessed. Thankful. Amused. Stressed. Frustrated. Peaceful.
I could just keep going.
Feeling emotional in all of these ways really is a huge, amazingly powerful part of life.
Even those of us who aren’t overly emotional will have crazy emotional days.
Yes, even the most even-keeled of people will find themselves feeling emotional in areas of their lives that they never experienced before.
Through every season of life, feeling emotional is an inescapable part of it all.
What can you do when you’re feeling emotional?
1} Find out if you need time away. Take a break. Take a day off.
2} Start to journal. Do a brain dump before bed. Get the thoughts and emotions on paper.
3} Spend time with Jesus even if it’s messy and not how you want it to look. You need Jesus to help you overcome the chaos these feelings stir up within you. Only He can keep fear, stress, worry and disappointment from disabling you and keeping you from your purpose. Turn to Him and pray. Every day. Even when you don’t know what to pray. Pray.
4} Be sure to laugh. Play a game. Camp in the yard. See a movie. Do something fun. Let excitement, happy, joy, and fun win the day.
5} Find ways to be encouraged. Speak truth to yourself.
6} Make some great coffee or tea and invite a friend over to chat. Take a pause, eat a cookie, refresh, relax.
7} Stay organized and motivated even when the emotions are overwhelming.
8} Ask for help when you need it.
9} Learn to let your heart rest. Give it to Jesus. For real. And don’t take it back again.
10} Remember that feeling emotional is normal. Completely normal. Take a deep breath, cry, enjoy a nap, and keep going.
These can be practical, helpful, healing things to remember in emotional times, on emotional days.
Remember to realize and recognize the emotions.
See them for what they are. Give yourself grace. Lay it at the feet of Jesus.
Ask for help when you need it, even for the complicated things.
Then, listen to this song {on repeat} by Kirk Franklin. Because my world needs Jesus right now, does yours?
Power fall down
Bring with it a sound
That points us to you right now
Erase substitutes right now
Fix what I see
And God please fix me
My world needs you right now
Let us see you right now
What do you do when you are feeling emotional?