What if I am her already?

The Proverbs 31 woman.

I have a million feelings and thoughts about this chapter at the moment.

I’ve been sitting with it, thinking about it, praying through it.

Who is this woman and why does she get a chapter in the Bible?

There are old sermons, churchy devotionals, cutesy, romanticized t-shirts… all that feel very unbelievable. Yes, this woman is something to read and talk about. Whole ministries are named after her, women strive to be her, and every mom wants her children to rise up and bless her, right?

In my younger years, I did a lot of pondering and wondering about the Proverbs 31 woman.

I even wrote a post about my pondering and hosted a young moms’ retreat themed after the incredible woman in the Bible pictured in Proverbs.

At the time, in that season of my life, the woman described in Proverbs 31 seemed completely unattainable. No woman could possibly do all of that, be all of that and still make it, happy to the end of her life. The woman felt like some big dream that didn’t exist in the real world.

In a long ago post, I wrote, “How can we ever measure up to this strong, capable, compassionate, creative, providing woman? How can we be her or be expected to become her?”

Those were valid questions from my younger self.

I continued, “God is showing me something else about this woman, something that is freeing and helpful and encouraging. Maybe the woman described in Proverbs can’t be fulfilled in just one woman. Maybe each one of us, together with other godly women, can be her. We can make up the picture of her with the help of other godly women. Think of a puzzle of women. Everyone together becomes all of the characteristics listed about the Proverbs 31 woman. The complete picture is represented in the various women. Each woman is just one piece of the puzzle. Each woman brings something to the whole puzzle.”

I still agree with younger me.

A group of powerful, amazing, God-loving women working together does make a beautiful impact on their world.

I love the puzzle idea and I’m thankful to have strong, capable, amazing women around me to help, encourage and strengthen me. It is freeing to think I don’t have to do it all on my own and together, we can accomplish so much.

Yet today, this Jenilee, in this season of life, this pondering woman, this version of me is wondering, “What if I could be her?”

Not in a empowerment or one-up kind of way. Not in a divisive, male/female battle kind of way.

I’m really asking… who is this woman? And, is she possible?

What if God really did create a woman to be her, all of her?

What if God equipped me with everything I need to complete the picture?

What if God strengthens, helps, guides and lifts these things in me?

What if, with God’s help, I am her already?

What if Proverbs 31 isn’t meant to be something to be overwhelmed by but rather something to step in to?

The questions make me wonder why I’m afraid to step into what I see in Proverbs 31. Why do I doubt that I can do the things that God has set before me to do?

Why do I worry that God won’t provide all I need to do what is mine to do?

My counselor has challenged me. My coach has been pushing me. The godly counsel around me has been saying, “Go! Why are you waiting? Step up into the talents and abilities that God has given you!”

Over the past few months, I’ve been playing, happily allowing myself to jump into new things while exploring talents and hidden skills and long-pushed down desires.

I’ve given myself permission to have fun and do the things.

I’ve worked really hard over the past few years to put God’s voice back as number one in my head and heart.

Not a person’s voice, not an organization’s voice, not a group of leaders or team members. They can not be the loudest or the strongest voices.

God’s voice is THE voice. The only voice that matters.

What has God called me to do?

What is mine to do? What is not mine to do?

What will I answer for when I stand before him one day? What gifts and talents are lying dormant in me while I overwork doing things for other people that are not mine to do?

With boundary work, allowing myself to be 100% truthful about key people in my life, replacing a healthy balance in multiple things, saying no, stopping, practicing the real ruthless elimination of hurry, of people-pleasing, of enabling toxic, hurtful habits… I’m here, reading about this Proverbs 31 woman and thinking, “She is a boss.”

What if I could be her?

A woman who is trusted. A wise business woman with her hands in multiple projects, work, tasks, and places around her city. She is seen by others being busy, providing for her family, unafraid and so strong. She sees the value of something and does it, buys it or creates it with no hesitation. She’s up early, giving herself time and space to fully engage in her daily work. She is making, selling, delivering. She is willing, laughing and speaking wisdom with loving instruction. She’s never idle and she’s rewarded for her work. She freely moves through her life and her home doing what is hers to do.

She serves and fears the Lord.

What if, instead of feeling insecure, overwhelmed and stuck while reading this chapter, I saw how our God can breathe life into human flesh in such a beautiful way?

What if I believed that God has breathed that same life in me?

This strong, God-fearing woman, although spread out in many ways, goes about all that is before her with excellence.

What if this one woman really is that amazing?

What happens when a woman is free to live her life, equipped, and ready to step into her full talents, abilities and strengths?

What happens when we stopping fearing a strong woman with a God-call?

What happens when we champion her? Bless her? Encourage her?

What happens when we stop requiring her to do it all, even what isn’t hers?

What happens when we stop micromanaging her efforts and allow her to flourish?

What happens? The Proverbs 31 woman shows us what happens.

When a woman is free to be who God called her to be, when she is equipped and ready, when she prepares, steps into her talents, abilities and calling with wisdom and strength, trusting in a God who loves her, this beautiful picture comes to be.

When she is allowed to thrive, to live, to love, to create, to spend her energy on all that God placed inside of her, when other voices cease to carry so much weight and God’s voice pierces through the noise around her, when God shows up, breathes life, speaks health and she steps up, God things happen in her and around her.

Amazing and beautiful things.

I have to wonder what God thinks when we don’t step into what he’s asked us to do, when we feel like we have to have someone else to help us obey or walk in gifts or grow in the character needed to step into God’s plans.

What does God think when we feel overwhelmed by what he’s asked us to do in a way that keeps us from trying or stepping forward in faith?

God does provide others, for sure. God uses the body of Christ together to work together, in tandem for Kingdom work. That is seen all over scripture.

My wondering is about the inside of us, the deep parts of us that feel like we can’t, we aren’t good enough, or we don’t have what it takes to obey God.

The hurt, pain, insecurity, weaknesses, and hesitancy inside of us, the parts that worry what other people think or hear past voices telling us we can’t do big things… that is the part of us that I’m talking about.

It is that part that must say yes to God, step into the call and take a step forward in obedience.

What if David had said that he could only take down the giant if his brothers were with him? What if he’d walked out there with the king’s armor on even if it didn’t fit him? What if he said no, I can’t, I’m not like that, I don’t do that?

What if Mary had said she’d only say yes if Joseph said yes? What if she waited for Joseph or bargained with God for the promise that someone would help her?

What if Noah had not built a boat unless his neighbors thought it was a good idea and helped him? What if he’d needed approval or cleared red tape or someone telling him what to do and how to do it instead of listening to God’s requirements for the boat?

Imagine what would have happened in those stories!

I think God calls each one of us, individually. Equips, provides and allows us to walk with Him in things bigger than ourselves.

In community, yes. With others, yes.

But, the first yes comes from our own heart, soul and mind.

Even if it’s only my yes, I say, YES.

Now, after some deep, new pondering, I’ve gotten excited about a chapter of the Bible that I used to struggle with.

With a new perspective, I’ve decided I like this woman. A lot.

I’m choosing not to be overwhelmed by her but rather ask God to build, grow, strengthen and help me step into this chapter of the Bible with full confidence of who I am as a daughter of the King and with full knowledge that my faithful, strong God is with me.

The same God who breathes life into everything around me, breathes life into me. The same God who inspired the words, the woman in Proverbs 31, that same God created me, empowers me and equips me.

Truthfully and beautifully, the same God who created Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Gideon, David, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John… The same God who was with Abigail, Deborah, Elizabeth and Mary, Lydia and Martha. That same God is with me.

God empowered them, just them, to do incredible things.

Which leads me to wonder about this Proverbs 31 woman and that maybe she isn’t a group of women after all.

Maybe she’s just a real woman like me. She’s one woman who has stepped into all that God has designed her to be without any fear for the future.

Yeah, maybe it’s just her.

And, I like her. A lot.