The Tipping Point: How do you know?

“Where is the tipping point? How do I know what tips the scale one way or another?”

I remember asking myself this numerous times over the past few years.

Where is the tipping point and how will I know when I’m at it?

How will I know what tips the scale in this crazy situation that I find myself in right now?

The Tipping Point

We often bump up against these tipping points in random things throughout the day. Organic bananas or save a dollar and get the regular bananas? Stop at this gas station or run the risk of getting to where you’re going before filling up? Go to sleep on time or watch one more episode?

There’s usually a tipping point that brings a decision, internally going through the process of deciding in seconds without even realizing that your brain was running the options, weighing the pros and cons, or reviewing the ROI of staying up for another hour.

In normal day-to-day interactions and decisions, this can seem trivial and unnecessary.

But in the bigger decisions, the life-impacting choices, the freeze-in-the-moment crossroads—it can be intense and heavy.

When we hit these kinds of decisions, both options can seem overwhelming, both paths can feel wrong.

The tipping point can be a sharp edge that we lean up against for a long period of time, hoping it goes away, hoping against hope that it gets better on its own or that someone else will step in to make the decision or that a bright, shiny light will show you which way to go.

We hold on and hold on and hold on, waiting for the best moment, the right scenario, the perfect setting to align it all in a way that makes sense.

We pray, we seek counsel, we wait, we hope.

The season of indecision during can be maddening. The process builds until it feels like every decision puts you on a crippling edge.

Where is the tipping point that pushes it over? Forces a decision? Feels like its time to take a step forward on the path ahead?

Where is the line in the sand?

I’ve heard this moment described as crossing a rushing river. You know you have to get on the other side, you must cross. But when? How? With what tools? What if the river doesn’t slow down and the right moment never comes? What if I have to cross the raging river all by myself? What is on the other side? What if I wish I’d stayed on this side?

For me, in my not-in-a-million-years moment, I knew I couldn’t stay on the side I was on but I literally couldn’t imagine crossing the white water in front of me.

Both options seemed impossible.

Yet, at some point, the cons tip the scale and I had to make a move forward.

That was my tipping point.

Another way to imagine this tipping point is by picturing a scale or a seesaw. The tipping point in the middle is sensitive and quick. Just a small movement or action or moment can sway the whole thing and begin the tipping process.

What kinds of movement, action, or moment will tip the scale or raise one side of the seesaw?

A line will get drawn and the time to move will be now.

Even further, one line in the sand, one tipping point, one river often leads to another.

One decision leads to more decisions, more seasons of indecision.

But there’s usually one decision that is the tipping point, one that has the greatest pain point, the biggest impact that will help guide the coming decisions that will need to be made.

It’s often that one decision that keeps us frozen and stuck and frustrated with the options before us.

How do you know?

There are some things you can do to help in the tipping point moments.

1} Whiteboard or Brain Dump – I do these in sessions with clients or you can do this on your own. Write down ALL the things. All the thoughts. Pros/cons, problems, what ifs, maybes, feelings and emotions. Write them all down to get a good feel for what is included in this decision moment.

2} Talk to the problem, the tipping point – What would you say to this specific decision? Rant, cry, yell, angry type it out.

3} Make some lists – This can be really helpful in allowing you to get a good view of all the pros and cons, the impact, and the pain points around this problem. List them out and see what is there.

4} Let the parts of you speak – What are the different parts of you saying about this problem? If this language is new to you, think Inside Out. What are the different emotions saying to you? What do they need or want or feel? Why are they feeling those things? Is there a young part of you or a current part of you that’s speaking really loud in this decision? In the bus analogy by Dr. Alison Cook, who is driving the bus?

5} Follow the what if – This can be overwhelming and scary but it can also be very calming and clear anxiety. Take the decision, the problem, the tipping point and follow the what ifs included in this decision. To the above practice, what is fear saying? What are the what ifs that could happen depending on which way you turn or which path you choose? Follow it to the end. Imagine what you’ll do or need to do at each point along the way. Remember, you can do this. You can get through it. You’re strong and capable for whatever comes.

6} Stand at the crossroads or at the tipping point – Journal what you see and feel. Journal the different paths you could take. Imagine the roads and the paths and the obstacles and the benefits of each one.

7} Talk to a coach or a counselor – Having someone from outside your situation speak into what they see can be so helpful. Show someone the brain dumps and the lists. Let them ask you questions and dig deeper into it with you. Explain the tipping point outloud in a safe space. You’ll be amazed at what kind of clarity, epiphanies and direction can come from someone holding the decision with you and helping you navigate the ins and outs of a tipping point.

8} Breathing and grounding – You can get an app that helps you with breathing exercises. Put your feet on the floor and list something for each sense that you’re feeling or sensing. Remember, this moment is good too and you don’t have to get to the other side of the river to find things to be thankful for or see beauty in what’s around you.

9} Find healthy community – If your tipping point is as life-changing and drastic as mine, finding community is vital. Find safe, healthy, life-giving community. We heal and grow in this kind of community.

10} Pray – This is only last because I wanted to leave this with you at the end of this post. God is with you on both sides of the river. His presence is in and around the tipping point. His promises are good. He is faithful. He knows the entire situation. Ask him to reveal new, great, and amazing things to you through the practices above and through daily time in his word.

Over the past year, it’s been two-a-days for me in the word, morning and night. Keeping his word, his way, his truth at the forefront of my mind whether I’m awake or falling asleep to face it all again tomorrow.

Pray and ask God to show up mightily in your tipping point.

Ask him to guide steps, light paths, and send support. Allow him to take all the time he needs to show you the lessons and growth opportunities along the way. Rest in his timing, his direction, his plans for your life.

Remember, it can be extremely helpful to talk this out with someone who knows.

I’m genuinely loving walking with women through the tipping points in their lives, even the really complicated things.

The stories, the pages, the words. Every single page.

Coaching that utilizes many of the above methods for all the tipping points of life.

Are you at a tipping point?