Are you ready for life coaching?
Throughout my life, the idea of life coaching has meant different things at different times as I walked the seasons and years.
I’ve learned that life coaching and mentorship and counseling can take unique forms depending on where I am or what’s happening in my life.
Life coaching and counseling can partner together or they can be a part of a healing team, separate from one another.
In some seasons, I have memories of sweet coffee shop conversations with a friend. Mentorship happening over a table without any planning or purpose, just living life together. Two friends who are learning, growing and developing in similar ways.
It might have been the person right in front of me, going through something similar who can speak directly into a situation that I’m facing in the moment.
Other times, my personal growth has needed to be more purposeful. It’s planned and detailed. It’s formal with goals and timelines. A planned meeting with someone farther along the journey or with a professional, trained expert in a specific field of study.
There are seasons when coaching partnerships need to be structured and well-planned with set goals in mind. Whether for leadership, learning, growing in a specific task or desiring guidance in a certain area like health, exercise, writing or discipleship, these times of directed coaching with a specific life coach can be of great value.
Sometimes, the most powerful learning, growing moments can come in a casual conversation with a random person, an online class, a new friendship, a young teacher or even, another woman sharing uplifting instastories. It might be an author in a book who will never know your name or the lady who rings up your groceries with a story of how Jesus helped her overcome a struggle which spurs you forward in your faith, challenges you to grow and encourages you to step out in bigger ways. Iron sharpening iron.
Even with these encounters, having a life coach is a needed tool in your toolbox.
A life coach is important and valuable in ways we sometimes can’t describe until we’re in or through the process. We’re meant to have these partnerships with others, to glean wisdom and gather tips to help us along the way.
“Life is not meant to be lived in isolation. We are better together. Stronger. Braver. Our willingness to be vulnerable will suffocate shame.”
– Cristi Dozier
In this time of social media, scrolling, and streaming, we’re in a unique time for life coaching, mentoring, and relationships.
This is the day of telehealth, online church services, zoom office meetings and online schooling. Face-to-face isn’t always possible so we’re creatively connecting in ways we haven’t tried to do before, to an extent that no one imagined before the pandemic.
I saw a funny quarantine meme of two friends standing side by side with the headline – the two types of people. On the one friend it says, “I’m taking this time to better myself.” On the other friend it says, “I just ate carrot cake with my hands.”
The post made me laugh because it sums up this whole idea in one cute picture.
Whether you want formal, professional life coaching and are looking for solid, structured growth steps OR you love the informal coffee discussion with a friend, possibly going for that piece of carrot cake… both are valid, beautiful, amazing ways to look at personal growth.
You might be trying to decide the difference between a coach and a counselor and wondering what you really need. A session with a life coach can help you figure out your next right step for healing, looking back and looking ahead at growth and recovery needs.
In seasons of busyness, holidays, special circumstances, relational stress, high conflict, burnout, or heavy decisions, coaching is something that should be a part of your life, helping you navigate the complicated things.
You might be reading along and thinking about how coaching, counseling, and mentorship has looked for you over the years. You might also be wondering how to get things going, where to start, and how to choose the right person.
Here are things to know going into a life coaching partnership:
These tips can apply to life coaching partnerships regardless of what kind of season you find yourself in right now.
1} Search and pray. From the very first step, ask God to be a part of this decision. Ask him to guide your heart and lead your steps to the right person, the right book, the right class or the right community for whatever kind of growth you are looking for. Pray for discernment and clarity as you search for a good coaching style, program or format. Ask God for direction in what you should learn, how he’s leading you to grow or where he wants to use you to help someone else. Pray for a foundation of trust to be seen and known in the relationship from the beginning.
2} Be specific. Once you’ve found a direction for life coaching, make a plan. It can be flexible and open-ended or it can be specific and detailed with a start date, timeline, goal plan and end date. The coach and coachee should be on the same page with these details from the beginning. Be honest about your expectations for coaching and don’t make assumptions about the process. Then, plan your first meeting, either in person or online. Be specific about the practical things. Choose a topic to cover, a challenge for growth, a goal for change, a need for accountability. These details should be talked about, prayed over and planned out from the start of coaching.
*If steps 1 and 2 seem daunting, just book a session. A good coach will help you navigate where and how to start! Many coaches will offer a free, short consult for this purpose. Ask them!
3} Be ready to be real and accountable. A coaching partnership will only work as well as you are willing to be real and it will only succeed by being accountable to the process. Be ready to take an honest look at where you are, where you want to go, and how you’re going to get there. Vulnerability, openness, honesty, and grace must be present on day one for both the coach and coachee.
4} Share, share, share. What are you reading? What is God saying? What are you learning? How are you growing? How did you fail? Where do you need grace? Where do you need more support or guidance? What is causing problems in a certain area? Share the stories. Ask the questions. Dig deep into good, strong, helpful discussions. Let God use real life lessons and moments to broaden the coaching journey.
5} Listen and learn. While all that sharing is happening, listen and learn. Practice active listening. Let go of your own thoughts for a few minutes and really, really listen. Engage in the conversation by listening to the words, thoughts, hopes, dreams, lessons and experiences being shared. Then, let yourself learn. Learn from what you hear, apply it to your life, let God speak through their sharing, write down phrases that stand out to you or make you stop and think.
*Often coaching homework will include books, podcasts, youtube videos, or sermons. Be ready to engage in those ways to expand the impact of your life coaching journey.
6} Duplicate and multiply. You’ve found a coach, you’ve been through the process, you’ve grown in specific ways, you’ve learned and listened and shared. Now, what is God wanting to do with what you’ve experienced through coaching? Are you able to share your story and experience with someone? Do you need to pray about deeper levels of growth? How can you start using what you are learning, what God is saying and how you’ve been growing to impact those around you?
*If you’ve found a coach you love, be sure to share the information with a friend or group of friends! Many times, people are looking for a referral to someone who they have some connection to through another connection. Share the coach’s website, ask your friends to like their facebook page, follow on instagram or forward their newsletter.
Personal growth and healing can happen in many different ways. There is no cookie cutter design to fit all people. We all have different needs, challenges, paths and goals.
Wherever you are in life, having a life coach is an incredibly valuable tool that can open doors for your next steps forward.
Have you ever had a life coach?
Which tip is most helpful to you right now in thinking about entering a season of coaching?