Making Decisions – Tools and Resources

Making decisions can be a process.

When there are things in front of you that need to be chosen, decided, planned, made, and finished, the decision making process can be overwhelming and paralyzing.

Where to go?

What to do?

How to solve a problem at work, home or in relationships?

Do the next beautiful thing… but what is the next thing?

Making Decisions

Why is this so hard?

Which one or which way is the right one or the right way?

In certain seasons, when making decisions is challenging, having a few decision making tools that are practical and helpful can be beneficial for real life.

Especially if there are multiple decisions happening at the same time.

You might have job details to work out, medical decisions, a new project, when to start doing something, when to stop doing something… things that really impact your life.

You might be needing to say yes or no, go with it or hold back, keep moving forward or just wait.

In the past, I’ve tended to make quick decisions. When an idea is presented, I think it through and then go with whatever I feel. I’ll pray about it for a few days, but I generally can give a quick answer.

It’s my multi-tasking, get-it-done personality. I love checking things off the list and this usually works well and is a positive thing.

Yet, not always. And for me, waiting in limbo does not bode well for my thought processes. If I sit with something for too long, I tend to over-think and then second-guess.

I’ll give a quick answer and then later realize that I should NOT be doing it or that I should HAVE done it.

Which leads to, “How did I get myself in this predicament? What do I do now?”

For me, I am learning how to be patient and how to wait. I’m learning how to use the tools available to me so that I don’t second guess but rather truly give myself time to make a decision.

Then, I will be able to give an answer that I know I’ve thought about, prayed over, and obeyed.

I’m giving myself time to talk to trusted friends, discuss with a coach, lay it all out before me and go through outcomes in new, healthier ways.

You might be facing decisions right now.

It doesn’t matter how big or how small the decision, having tools and processes can be helpful.

Having someone to sort through the scenarios and outcomes with you can be vital.

From a Coach Perspective:

1} Lay it all out on the table in front of you. Picture your dining room table or the coffee table. Sit close to it. Clear it off. Then, start a brain dump style process of laying it out on the table. This can be literal by taking note cards or pieces of paper and writing down ALL the things. Write them down. Look at them in front of you. Sort out the good from the bad, the sure from the unsure, the immediate yes or no. This can help you boil down to the very basics, what’s really important, and what you are actually deciding about.

2} White Board Session. In coaching, I have a large white board. My client sits in the room or across the screen on zoom. I write, they talk. We start to watch for patterns, words, thinking processes, likes/dislikes, needs, and so on. This can be extremely helpful for clients to lay it on the table but not have to write or overthink. They can just talk, in whatever order or however it comes out, and then they can go through it with a coach. So, so helpful.

If you’d like help with either of those, send me a note!

3} Remember your trajectory. Growth, healing, learning, and moving forward sometimes feels like two steps back or falling down or standing still. It can be hard to see your goal or your hopes or your reasons when you’re up close to the challenge. But if you take a step back, look at where you were to where you are now, remember your why, your reasons, your progress, your process… then you can see your upward and forward trajectory. You can see growth and that will help you stay in the process, keep learning, and make decisions from that place.

4} Make Mistakes. You will. You’ll choose wrong sometimes. You’ll take the harder path or walk through unknown crazy. You’ll only know what you know and wish you’d known more before you made a choice. You will make mistakes. But if we don’t let ourselves make mistakes, if we expect perfection 100% of the time, we’ll experience anxiety, feel stuck, and stay paralyzed in the decision. Let yourself do what you can with the information that you have now. Do what you can to choose the best plan or path, then move forward. Mistakes are the learning ground for personal growth. Don’t expect perfect.

5} Crossroads journaling. Sit down on one of the log benches at the crossroad below. Draw this in your journal. Walk down each of the paths or choices at the crossroad. Another option is to draw a T and you can only go right or left. Imagine going one way and then the other. What happens? What are the pros and cons? What are the potential benefits or hangups? This kind of journaling can help you figure out which way to go. If you get going and realize you need to back up, that’s ok too. You’ve already mapped out the paths. Or, is there a path opening up that you didn’t see before?

Check out my store for some journaling resources. Specifically, grab a free joy journal and brain dump journal for you or to share with a friend!

6} Seek counsel. This can be from a coach or a counselor. Or even both. You might need to talk to your pastor or a close friend. Maybe take your mom out for coffee and ask for advice. Getting counsel about making decisions helps in many ways. It can open up ideas, give other options, help you see things you didn’t see before, bring other perspectives, and give clarity as you talk out the choices. If you’re in a season of healing, build a team of helpers around you as you take steps forward each day.

Remember, as I wrote about in my FAQ, coaching and counseling are different things with different focuses. Coaching is usually more forward thinking and counseling takes a look back as you process past events or seasons.

Coaching and counseling can blend well together in decision making, because looking back and looking ahead is part of the process. A white board session or laying it on the table in front of you usually presents a mash up of it all. In coaching, if I notice something that could be taken to counseling, I will suggest it! If it’s something we can talk through, we do that in session.

7} Let yourself. Give yourself permission. Dive in to the process of decision making. You aren’t stuck. You don’t have to stay paralyzed. You can move forward one step at a time, doing the next beautiful thing.

It’s time to start doing the inner work that will impact all other areas of life and decision making.

Curious where you’re at in decision making skills? I offer the Equipping Profile, a biblically based and clinically proven tool with 10 areas of Christian character. The profile takes about 2 minutes to complete and then, you’ll receive a report that is your personal step-by-step guide to growth in specific areas.

From a Faith Perspective:

I want to be wise. I want to have understanding, and I want to be able to discern right and wrong. I want to have the ability to get unstuck, fight overwhelm, stay resilient and make good decisions.

Being able to seek God through prayer and God’s Word is a big part of the decision making process, learning, choosing next steps, and achieving goals.

We need the right spiritual tools in place to make decisions with that kind of wisdom.

1} Give it some thought. Proverbs 14:8 says “The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways…” – We have to give it some thought, really think every angle through. Be prudent in your thinking and allow God to lead you.

2} Just because it seems right doesn’t mean it is. Proverbs 14:12 says “There is a way that seems right to man but in the end it leads to death.” – Even what seems right, unfortunately, may be the wrong decision and might not be God’s best for you. We must change the question? What is right in God’s eyes rather than our own?

3} Be patient and don’t hurry. Proverbs 14:22 says “A patient man has great understanding…” – How patient are we when it comes to making purchases, planning our days or choosing a path? Do we quickly say yes or no? Are we patient enough to seek God first?

4} Seek council from someone you trust. Proverbs 15:22 says “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” – Make sure you have all the information before you make a decision. Talk to people, ask questions, and seek godly advice. But this is where patience comes in. Gather information before you make a decision and sometimes, that takes time.

5} Be sure to check your heart. Proverbs 16:2 says “All a man’s ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the Lord.” – What are your true motives behind your plans? Think about why you are doing what you are doing or why you need that in your life. Ask God to shine His light on your motivations and let Him show you new things about your heart.

6} Take the time to pray it through and commit this decision to God. Proverbs 16:3 says “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.” – Are you committing your ways to the Lord? Have you asked him to be a part of your plans before you are already IN those plans?

7} Trust God with the results. Proverbs 16:4 says “The Lord works out everything to His own ends…” – This is where trust comes in. Do you trust God with your life and your decisions and your plans knowing He will work it out? Do you trust Him even when His answer isn’t what you want or in the timing you understand? Do you go to him when you make a mistake or still feel stuck in the unknown?

These verses have been true wisdom to me in the past few months. Yet, this is just from the book of Proverbs. God’s word is full of so much more!

God is faithful to show us things when we need them. Going to him in these ways will enable us seek Him in our decision making.

I’m really trying to follow these steps before I make a decision or plan something.

It takes time, but that time is valuable. That time causes true growth not only in your character but in your relationship with God.

I want to be successful in God’s eyes with my life. I want His opinion to matter most. I want to make decisions that fit with His plan for my life. I want His heart to shine through in all I do.

Which means getting better at making God-chosen decisions and letting Him engineer the details.

What verses speak to you when you need to make a decision?

How do you seek Him first in times of deciding what to do or how to do it?

What type of exercise from above is most helpful to you in making decisions?